Mack


Only a dream 3

There have been so many times, especially early on, when I would think, hope for a moment that it had all just been a dream, that Mack was really asleep in the other room and would come in any minute and crawl in our bed. Now I begin to have moments when I wonder if […]


It’s just a hat 36

But not any more. This picture of Mack was taken shortly after Christmas 2011. You can read more about the studio session on my PhotoBlog. That fall I had purchased this silly little gray fedora from Target. I am a practical person and my head gets cold in the winter, but I am vain so […]


Capturing Mack 39

It is so odd how we count time. If we go by weeks, then it was four weeks ago this past Monday night that Mack died, December 31st. If we go by days on the calendar then today, January 31st, is the one month mark. Our friend and fellow Celtic parent David Rockower is an […]


The snow is falling 4

Gently, light and fluffy, the snow is falling. It hasn’t been much, just an inch or two. Mack loved snow, loved to play in it, sled, dig into it building forts. He would have been out already, even as I write at 7 am. But he wouldn’t have liked this snow. He would have complained […]


Are we impressed with the hippopotamus? 6

This past week my close friend and mentor recommended to me Charles Williams’ War in Heaven. Williams is the member of the “Inklings” that most of us forget about, but whom many consider to be the best theologian of the bunch. (I am on record as attributing that crown to Dorothy L. Sayers.) I am […]


A word about this blog, grief, beauty and joy

I just want to reassure readers that while there will undoubtedly be more posts about my (and our, but I tend to let my wife speak for herself) experiences and thoughts grieving for the loss of our son, the blog Targuman will not become solely about theodicy. When I began this blog I decided not […]


A Poor Analogy 14

But the best one I can think of to explain what life is like surviving, “living beyond,” the death of our son. It is a bit like being forced to wear a pair of painful, ill-fitting shoes. They hurt like hell and make you limp, wince, and cry, but you can’t take them off. The […]


Remembering Mack 26

My wife has shared some thoughts on Facebook, I have posted some pictures on the PhotoBlog, Christopher Long has this wonderful poem from Auden, and our incredible students have created a Day of Kindness in Mack’s honor. But I know which tribute would make Mack laugh, it is this cartoon by Chris Hallbeck, whose Biff […]