But the best one I can think of to explain what life is like surviving, “living beyond,” the death of our son. (This analogy came up in conversation with Elizabeth. She is still thinking about it and believes she can do better. Until then, here it is.)
It is a bit like being forced to wear a pair of painful, ill-fitting shoes. They hurt like hell and make you limp, wince, and cry, but you can’t take them off. The only way to ease the pain is to start walking, to break them in. Blisters form, calluses, and the limp begins to settle in. After a while, months or years, I don’t know yet, I imagine that you begin to think less and less about what shoes you are wearing and most people won’t notice the limp and the occasional wince.
In the meantime, it just hurts.