Last year I wrote a short little poem on Mack’s birthday. I shared it with my friend and award winning poet John Poch, now at Grace College in Indiana. (His latest book The Future of Love is out now and it is tremendous!) He replied with the suggestion that I try a form called a “ghazal.” Needless to say, I had never heard of it! This is his note and guidance.
Just looking at what you’ve started here, I imagine this poem might want to expand into a form called a ghazal (pronounced like guzzle). Here is an example: https://poets.org/poem/even-rain Shahid first made this form popular in English at the end of the 20th century. Things to focus on: The couplets work independently and together. They always end in the same word (or set of words), so rhyme exactly. You vary the rhyme leading into that repeated phrase. You work your own name into the last line of the poem. Which would be easy for you to do here. It can be your first or last or even a nickname.
We are over a month past Mack’s 22nd birthday, but as often happens while I am traveling, I find myself with some time to reflect and write. Below is my effort to transform my little triptych into a a ghazal.
Today’s your birthday. Just one day.
Just one day. That’s all it is. Just one day.
It was a long day, in the middle of the night,
As you flew into the sky, I cried for just one more day.
It was nearly the next, just after 10 pm, when you took flight,
Almost nine years old, you were robbed of one more day.
Alive now more than ever before in life and light,
Seventeen short of nine, eight years and the 348 days.
And a lifetime is gone. In just one day.
To this Christian, a day is a thousand years, just one day.
One thought on “Mack’s Birthday – A Ghazal”
Such a soft whisper in the stillness of Grace. Thank you for your insight.