“In the face of death, I realized that it was not love that kept me clinging to life but unresolved anger. Love, real love flowing from me or toward me, sets me free to die. Death would not undo that love. To the contrary, death would deepen it and strengthen it. Those whom I love dearly and those by whom I arq loved dearly may mourn my death, but their bonds with me will only grow stronger and deeper. They would remember me, make me part of their very members, and thus carry my spirit with them on their journey.”
“No, the real struggle was not a matter of leaving loved ones. The real struggle had to do with leaving behind me people whom I had not forgiven and people who had not forgiven me.”
“What I learned about dying is that I am called to die for others. The very simple truth is that the way in which I die affects many people. If I die with much anger and bitterness, I will leave my family and friends behind in confusion, guilt, shame, or weakness.”
“I realized on a very deep level that dying is the most important act of living. It involves a choice to bind others with guilt or to set them free with gratitude.”
Henri Nouwen, Beyond the Mirror, pp. 39-40, 40, 51, and 52.
