Losing faith 4

 The Collect: Second Sunday of Easter, Rite Two

Almighty and everlasting God, who in the Paschal mystery established the new covenant of reconciliation: Grant that all who have been reborn into the fellowship of Christ’s Body may show forth in their lives what they profess by their faith; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

John 20:29 Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”

John 20:30 Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. 31 But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.

I have not lost my faith because Mack became sick, or because God didn’t warn us, or heal Mack, or bring him back from death. I have known most of my life that death happens to everyone and to many far earlier than it should. I haven’t lost my faith as some have as a result of learning text criticism and the complexities of the manuscript traditions. I haven’t lost my faith because I have not seen signs. I have not lost my faith.

I have learned that mystery is not a puzzle to be solved. I have learned that mystery is the revelation of truth that comes into the world through all creation. Mystery is not 1+1=2 rather it is the reality that between 1 and 2 there is an infinite series of numbers. Mystery is the birth of a new life even as the life that gives birth may die. It is a mystery that out of death comes life and that this perishable body will be replaced by an immortal one, that this hard, husk of a seed will sprout and grow into glorious new life.

Faith is a mystery. I have not lost my faith.


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

4 thoughts on “Losing faith

  • Peter Sommerville


    I came to your blog site in search of a pronlem with a Rover. I found it so I stayed.

    I don’t share your beliefs. But I respect your conviction. Your loss of your son, totally unexpected, could have shattered your faith but it didn’t. You have been able , despite the obvipus pain, to rationalise it very well. Your faith has sustained you.

    There are any, including myself, without
    your faith, who have had to survive equally traumatic experiences. We have also done so successfully.

    Perhaps this says something about the human condition. There are many paths to the same solution.

    Take care.

    • Targuman

      Thank you Peter. Certainly there are millions who cope with this reality of existence without sharing the Christian faith and you are right, I think, that it reveals our capacity as humans to adapt, survive, and find meaning beyond the loss of a loved one or some dramatic event. I am always in awe of what people have endured over the millennia.