“But I don’t wanna go!” 6


DSC08682.JPGThis morning out daughter is pitching a fit about going to church. She is 10 and the truth is that I can remember quite well doing the same thing to my parents. They made me go to church and we are making her come with us.

Lately E and I have been talking about how we raise our children with respect to things like drinking (alcohol of course, not just ordinary imbibing) and sex. We do not have any particular disagreements but we did have slightly different upbringing. We had a very strict, dry household. To this day my dad insists that “alcohol shall never pass my lips.” (He doesn’t even receive communion in our church as a result.) My brother’s experience and the decisions he made, it should be needless to say, were different than mine, even though we were reared in the same home.

I did not drink any alcohol until I reached college and even then it was never more than sipping a glass of wine (I still have not acquired a taste for beer) and even to this day I do not drink very much. I tend to think it is better to begin with a more strict teaching in the home, on this and other matters, while still emphasizing the broad principles at stake. For example, I was never told that drinking is a sin, only that drunkenness is (true dat) and when we drink in excess we lose control of ourselves and a variety of bad things can happen.

So I am leaning towards a more strict, but certainly an open environment for our kids. I want to be able to talk with them about drinking, relationships, drugs, etc. and for them to talk with me. Then as they mature I hope that they will have a healthy understanding and lifestyle.

In the meantime, we are all going to church as a family!

[Written before church this morning, but I neglected to post it before leaving. For reasons you can imagine, given the above. 😉 ]

 

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6 thoughts on ““But I don’t wanna go!”

  • Looney

    Something I am thankful for is that I have never had that problem, even though my kids are off to college now. They always went to church without an argument and were usually first into the car. There seems to be a different dynamic at our multi-cultural California churches.

    Being raised Southern Baptist, the alcohol was off limits for me too. A business trip, however, took me to Tübingen and my host insisted that it was obligatory to sit at a table where students had sat for centuries and discuss profound issues while drinking a beer. I gave in to this seductive sophistry and drank my first beer there. Somehow I don’t think it really improved my ability to understand the Bible, but it is nice to know that I sat at one of those tables before Chris Tilling did.

  • Bob MacDonald

    sounds very real – maybe I will post a response on my fictional blog – Ask Bobby. I have four children – the youngest 30. Two have brain damage, one from an accident, one from birth. The accident victim drinks more than he should. And always asks me if I have been to synagogue when he gets too drunk. But the relationship is solid. The one who was damaged from birth was damaged from fetal alcohol syndrome (what Manoah was warned against). These two are adopted and from different racial backgrounds. The other two are not adopted. One is at the top of the world of Christendom professionally – the first woman to be Director of Music in an Oxbridge chapel. Also this year directs the girls choir at Ely Cathedral. The other is a professional violinist married to a lead ballerina. These are the only ones likely to have grandchildren but that’s another story. The daughter goes to Church more often than most since she runs a full range of services musically. The other inherited my atheism (which I have since discarded for very good reasons – at least in my opinion.)

    Give yourself a break – you do not own your children. But you must care for them regardless of what they seem to be in your eyes.

    Re alcohol – I keep a wine cellar with about 200 bottles in it and I have a taste for single malt. Remember though that verse – thy love is better than wine. (And don’t miss out on that perfectly aged Spirit.)