Losing faith

 The Collect: Second Sunday of Easter, Rite Two

Almighty and everlasting God, who in the Paschal mystery established the new covenant of reconciliation: Grant that all who have been reborn into the fellowship of Christ’s Body may show forth in their lives what they profess by their faith; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

John 20:29 Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”

John 20:30 Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. 31 But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.

I have not lost my faith because Mack became sick, or because God didn’t warn us, or heal Mack, or bring him back from death. I have known most of my life that death happens to everyone and to many far earlier than it should. I haven’t lost my faith as some have as a result of learning text criticism and the complexities of the manuscript traditions. I haven’t lost my faith because I have not seen signs. I have not lost my faith.

I have learned that mystery is not a puzzle to be solved. I have learned that mystery is the revelation of truth that comes into the world through all creation. Mystery is not 1+1=2 rather it is the reality that between 1 and 2 there is an infinite series of numbers. Mystery is the birth of a new life even as the life that gives birth may die. It is a mystery that out of death comes life and that this perishable body will be replaced by an immortal one, that this hard, husk of a seed will sprout and grow into glorious new life.

Faith is a mystery. I have not lost my faith.

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